Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Desiderata

Posted: September 4, 2013 in Uncategorized

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952

pictures-of-peace-and-love-and-happiness

Cool

Posted: August 5, 2013 in Uncategorized

Chasing after a man is not cool. Interrupting someone to ask what they are doing is not cool. Checking twitter feeds while on a date is not cool. Talking loudly on your cell phone is not cool. Eating with your mouth open is not cool. Leaving the toilet seat up is not cool. Smoking cigarettes is not cool. Long nails on a boy are not cool. Poor men are not cool. Clothes that are, too tight/too short, are not cool. Relaxing your hair is not cool anymore. Cell phones that ring your favorite pop song are pop cool. Calling a girl a whore is not cool. Cheating on a good woman/ man is not only not cool, it’s stupid. Faking an accent is not cool. Kissing and telling is not only not cool, it’s shady. Copying your friend’s personal style is not cool. Men making women split the bill is not cool. Bad grammar is not cool. Wearing too much makeup is not cool. Not handling your alcohol is not cool. Talking ill of your friends is not cool. Wearing cheap perfume is not cool. Wearing torn or wrinkled clothes is not cool. Staying when he treats you like scum is not cool. Dating a married man is not cool. Clubbing on a Saturday night is not cool. Bad breathe is not cool. Young teenage girls having sex is not cool. Peeing in the pool is not cool. Forwarded emails that say things like’ Forward this to 10 of your friends or bad shit will happen to you’ are not cool. Young girls getting raped in Dandora is not only not cool, it’s a painful reminder of being underprivileged in this country.

Quiet, vibrating cell phones are cool. Individuality is cool. Playing hard to get is cool. Sending her flowers to say sorry is cool. Calm collected men are not only cool, they are cultured. Knowing when to fold is cool. Telling the people we love how much they mean to us is cool.  Walking with a woman and not in front of her is cool. Intimate dinner over a bottle of bubbly on a Saturday night is cool. Being faithful to one person is not only cool, it’s sexy. Waxing your bikini area is sexy. A woman who knows her worth is cool. Men who open doors and give up seats are cool. Being polite is cool. Well tailored suits are cool. Women driving big masculine cars are cool. Understated confidence and slight arrogance is cool. Beautiful makeup free faces are cool. A man who can cook is cool. A man who drinks whiskey on the rocks is cool and sexy. A woman who prays is cool.  Smelling good and expensive is cool.  A classily dressed woman is cool and intriguing. Genuine happiness is cool and refreshing. A man who loves Jesus is not only cool, he’s sexy. Growing old with the man who loves you is cool and incredibly romantic. A low husky voice is cool. A girl who likes to read is cool. Being best friends with the person you love is not only cool, it’s beautiful. A big fat booty on a pretty face is cool.

Living your life believing that all men are inherently good is cool. Treating all people as you wish to be treated is cool. Respecting old people is cool.  Giving your own life the respect it deserves is the coolest of them all.

Couple smiles with their faces covered in coloured powder during Holi festival celebrations in Kuala Lumpur

Love letters

Posted: July 10, 2013 in Uncategorized

Dear Peter, I still think of you. Dear Alan, I am sorry I used you. Dear Colin, I said horrible things about you, I am sorry. Dear S, thank you for the flowers, thank you for the laughter you brought me. Dear Peter, thank you for every single scar.  Dear S, I would give you my kidney. Dear Peter, I am sorry I damaged your cars. Dear S, I love you plain and simple, I like that we will never be ‘We’. Dear John, You are not my type. Dear Robert, you are short and light, I don’t do short. Dear Mwangi, Stop calling me.  Dear Lesley, I friend zoned you 5 minutes after we meet. Dear Jayden, It will never happen. Dear S, I will fondly tell my daughter about you.

Dear Victor, Thank you for letting me grow up with you, I wouldn’t be me the woman I am today if I didn’t share those years with you. Dear Peter, I hope she makes you happy. Dear Kevin, I will never forget how small you made me feel. Dear James, there is something not right about you, you give me the creeps. Dear Bobby, You never ask a woman for money. Dear Victor, I know you have your regrets but oh well, I hope she was worth it, I hope they all were. Dear Tony, you are the type of boy I swore to never date. Dear Benjie, see, I told you, we make better friends, you are my family. Dear S, We are kindred souls, we will battle this to the end. Dear Martin, NO. Dear Peter, didn’t we almost have it all. Dear John, you were too late. Dear Henry, you need to come out of the closet. Dear Paul, I am sorry about walking out of the date, I am sorry I never called you. Dear S, you made a rebel of a careless man’s careful daughter, you are the best thing that’s ever been mine. Dear Peter, I have you in permanent ink. Dear Ben, until you stared at her smiling, I was yours to have. Dear Mugo, only if I were stupid. Dear Waweru, Call me.

Dear Mike, is your brother single? Dear Morris, you were my biggest mistake. Dear Peter, I will take it to the grave. Dear S, I would do it again. Dear Edward, it was one date, one. Dear Gicheru, I know your wife. Dear Nick, you lie too much, stop. Dear Sam, you need Jesus. Dear S, I’d have swallowed that bullet. Dear Peter, tear drops in my eyes remind me of you. Dear Victor, my Sundays afternoons have never been the same. Dear Patrick, I was young, sorry I stalked you. Dear Jack, You smell wrong, I think your blood smells, see a doctor. Dear Michael, I will have you fired. Dear Chris, my ex is your nephew, leave me alone. Dear S, all my love poems are about you. Dear Peter, I finally stopped wanting you. Dear Victor, the three of them combined were not half the woman I was, how a man settles for catfish after he has tasted caviar baffles me. Dear Sam, quit that bad habit before it kills you. Dear Peter, if I could turn back time. Dear Victor, I forgave you, I hope can forgive yourself. Dear Steve, I was drunk, I thought you were too.

Dear S, I pray for you each day. I keep your letters in a box. Dear S, I will always love you, you are all there ever was. I still think of you, dear S.

Love Letters

Little Girl

Posted: May 23, 2013 in Uncategorized

Just because your feet fit perfectly in your mother’s shoes that does not make you a woman.  Little girl. Cherry popping.  I wonder of you put lip stick on your vagina, Draw pubic hairs with your mother’s eye liner.  I wonder of you try on tampons just to see what a penis feels like.  Only difference is you pull out when you want to.  I wonder if you rape yourself in your sleep, too young to ever understand how to love yourself properly.  Sticking your Crayola fingers in between your thighs, It always hurts the first time, Maybe tomorrow you won’t cry.  I wonder if your mother recognizes the blood stains in your Cinderella underwear or if she cared enough to acknowledge they were there.

 And a part of me wants to blame your daddy. But some fathers are like God; you never see them but you know they exist.  And some little girls would rather give their life before letting their dead beat dad save their lives. I wonder if you stuff your bra just to distract people from your heart beat. But the Corona of your breath does not have the similar residue on your teeth.  You are still a baby.

 And Kotex and pampers are 2 different brands for a reason.  And penises and pacifiers are not both made for teething.  And the thirst of your soul will never be quenched with a man’s semen.  Who cares about your bra size when you see cups as half empty. I am sorry that Beyonce made you trade in your Halloween Custom for a freak’um dress.  But Halloween is not the only day that exposes damsels in distress.  Just tell me, how long will you let yourself for susceptible to cat calls and whispers just to get a fucking glass slipper? You know the same men you are waiting on to come and save you are the same men who’s cum made you. The same men who put you on ships for 76 days and raped you. The same men who will tell you that knights in shining armor will make you feel protected.  These are the same men writing scripts for the Disney Channel convincing you Princess Tiana and Pocahontas was never molested. Save your soul.

 Because the coldest nights are not the ones alone, the coldest nights are the ones spent holding yourself realizing your body is hallow.  Pick your pinks back up, enjoy the days when you and Dora the Explorer can still relate because soon blue won’t have all the clues and the dales of dragons will be locked away in safes. Did you ever read the fine print on growing up?  Is that you have to face to responsibilities and monopoly money will not pay for your mistakes.  You go ahead and Tell me who finger fucked your childhood out of you and tell them I challenge them to a thumb wrestling match for it back. Because that’s just how much I love you.

1798-too-short-mini-skirts

By Jasmine Mans.

  1. Wear mutumba panties.
  2. Tell another woman, “You don’t look that fat.”
  3. Believe a man who is not making eye contact but says, “Go ahead, I’m listening.”
  4. Get a tramp stamp.
  5. Date one of your girlfriend’s exes.
  6. Expect your relationships to be anything like a romantic comedy.
  7. Take advice from Oprah’s latest guru.
  8. Be rude to a waiter.
  9. Let anyone mentally, physically, or verbally abuse you.
  10. Apply eye makeup while driving and/or stopped in traffic.
  11. Ask your man, “Do you think she looks prettier than me?” (He doesn’t. He really, really doesn’t.)
  12. Eat garlic, spinach, or corn on the cob on a first date.
  13. Wear makeup to bed.
  14. Attend a wedding looking better than the bride. Or dressed in White.
  15. Apologize for being modest or chaste.
  16. Date a man you are not crazy in-love with.
  17. Let a girlfriend who has been drinking go anywhere with a man she just met.
  18. Take off your clothes anyplace someone has a camera or video recording device.
  19. Keep a stuffed animal on your bed after the age of sixteen.
  20. Get on the back of a motorcycle with a man who is younger than your dad.
  21. Ignore signs of cancer in the hopes that it will just go away.
  22. Settle down with a “bad boy.” You can play with one but don’t marry him.
  23. Refuse to tell a man what you really want for your birthday and then be disappointed by the gift you receive.
  24. Provide financial support for a man who is not disabled or completing his education.
  25. Go more than six months without gossiping with your mum.
  26. Agree to be on a reality show with the words, “Tujuane”, “Big Brother”, Real Housewives” or “Bachelor,” in the title.
  27. Dig your key into the side of his pretty little souped up four wheel drive, carve your name into his leather seat, take a Louisville slugger to both head lights, and slash a hole in all four tires.
  28. Expect a man to understand why you like Gold and diamonds.
  29. Limit your Bible reading to the verses in your self-help oriented devotional.
  30. Chase Dick
  31. Pierce your nipples.
  32. Wear cheap perfume. Don’t touch anything that’s not genuine designer. 
  33. Use profanity in any situation where your toe is not stubbed.
  34. Be surprised when a man is unable to read you mind.
  35. Assume that a stay-at-home mom doesn’t “work.”
  36. Tell your man, “You really didn’t have to.” (He did. He really, really did.)
  37. Shave off your eyebrows only to redraw them with a pencil… it makes no sense
  38. Expose your bra straps in public.
  39. Wear too much make up; you end up looking like a cheap whore.
  40. Wear a vest or sleeveless top without shaving your armpits or without a bra underneath
  41. Leave chipped nail polish to wear off on its own, there’s a reason why they sell nail polish remover.
  42. If you can’t afford good quality human hair, don’t bother.
  43. Acrylic nails are so 2002. Wear your natural nails or apply Gel Nails. Simple is sexy.
  44. Do things for a man with a hope of getting something in return, expectations are dangerous. Do it because you simply want to.
  45. Contradict what your man says – in public.
  46. Stalk the man that left you for the other woman
  47. Share your best friend’s personal life with every Tom, Dick and Harry.
  48. Act on distress in relationships like checking your man’s phone, nagging him to death, and acting like a paranoid freak.
  49. Stop obsessing over your body. It’s good to eat healthy and work out but let’s leave it at that.
  50. Over-accessorize. Stop looking like a Christmas tree.
  51. Leave home without lip-gloss, your phone and most of all, your dignity.
  52. Leave your used sanitary towel in the toilet for the next person to see. Women please!
  53. Wear very high heels if you can’t do the Naomi Campbell walk. You look like a drunk grasshopper.
  54. Wear short skirts and low cut tops when off to an interview. You will create the wrong impression.
  55. Lie to your man about your age.
  56. Going to bed without washing and moisturizing your face.
  57. Not carry a handbag after the age of 17.
  58. Forget your parent’s birthdays.
  59. Skipping gyna check ups. See your gyna at least once every year.
  60. And finally, ‘Never wish to be like any other woman. There are others out there envying you for who you are

Coco

Why I love my Nigga

Posted: April 22, 2013 in Uncategorized

  1. He is in love with God.

     

  2. His heart is made of gold.

     

  3. He is my rock.

     

  4. Ruth1; 16-17.

     

  5. He calls me right before he sleeps, then switches off his phone.

     

  6. Out of all of the beautiful, smart, amazing, wonderful women in the world, he chose me.

     

  7. He knows all my dark secrets, all my flaws and imperfections but still loves me. 

     

  8. He uses our secret words while in a room full of people, just to make me feel special.

     

  9. He works hard. Damn hard. And he is good at what he does.

     

  10. He loves everyone I love.

     

  11. He spoils me.

     

  12. He seeks and values my opinion.

     

  13. He buys the meat.

     

  14. He smells divine.

     

  15. He is thankful to be my man.

     

  16. We talk for hours.

     

  17. We make a great team.

     

  18. He still gives me butterflies.

     

  19. When he laughs, he laughs with his soul.

     

  20. He loves my kienyeji chicken.

     

  21. He buys me a gift after a fight.

     

  22. He gets jealous when I talk to other guys.

     

  23. Every 13th of the month.

     

  24. He gets me.

     

  25. He reads all my blogs.

     

  26. He tells me the truth, even when it hurts me.

     

  27. He makes me laugh.

     

  28. He is highly competitive and doesn’t just let me win.

     

  29. When I take a cab, he calls me till I safely get where I am going.

     

  30. He believes in the same God I believe in.

     

  31. He is my best friend.

     

  32. He loves my mother, who is my other best friend.

     

  33. Every once in a while, he buys me flowers.

     

  34. Sometimes, I feel he understands me more than I understand myself.

     

  35. He makes more money that I could ever spend.

     

  36. He teaches me to be a better daughter, better friend, better lover, and better woman.

     

  37. Because we’ve been tested.

     

  38. He is fun to be with. He shares my love for discovery.

     

  39. He loves the way I kiss him.

     

  40. Those long drives we take.

     

  41. He is an amazing lover.

     

  42. He is the complete opposite of me.

     

  43. He is more romantic than I am. Seriously.

     

  44. He hurts when I hurt.

     

  45. The way he says ‘ Gathoni’

     

  46. He has great taste and simple classy style.

     

  47. He loves to read. And he writes!!!

     

  48. He puts my wants and needs above his own.

     

  49. Every time he says ‘ My life is nothing without you’

     

  50. He’s is generous to a fault. He will go without just to help someone.

     

  51. He is the man of my dreams.

     

  52. He prays and fasts for me.

     

  53. He’s wicked Hot.

     

  54. He happens to be my biggest fan and worst critic.

     

  55. He calls and texts just because.

     

  56. He is my partner in all things good, bad, weird, different, private…. he is my partner.

     

  57. He cracks my back.

     

  58. He forgives me when I make mistakes.

     

  59. His loves me, even when I am being a bitch. He loves me.

     

  60. He makes my heart go wild.

     

  61. He is my…. He is my Superman

     

To be continued……..

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Woman to woman

Posted: April 16, 2013 in Uncategorized

I’m actually glad that you were brave and bold enough to call my house. So that we can discuss this woman to woman, and try to work some of these things out. So we can compare notes on some dates and times and try to figure out some of his tired ass lies.

I’m actually glad to be hearing from the lips that left the lipstick on my man’s collar.  Even though he told me he was working late, to try and earn a couple of extra dollars. I loved and trusted him so his bullshit I would swallow, even though my intuition would never let me sleep.
So I guess the gaps in our relationship are where you thought you would fit in. Just an insecure woman chasing after a man who already got a woman. But your pussy is not deep enough for a real man to fall in love with, and this we already know because your skirt is so short that it already shows your best assets. See, there’s no point in trying to figure out what you’re thinking, after all, He is not fucking you for your mind.

And you’re still young at heart so you think this is real cute, telling your friends that he is cheating on me but he really wants you. But the reality is that we are nothing alike.
When he can’t deal with all of me, he goes to you to get me off his mind but it never works see. He gets really still as he lays in-between the sheets. That’s because he is tuning you out because he’s picturing me.

Because you put up with that shit I just won’t deal with because I am strong in who I am. And he loves that about me. It’s just that sometimes he just can’t stand the reality that he doesn’t deserve a woman like me. When he feels that way, well hell, that’s when he comes crawling to your dirty sheets. And just like a child you thought you would call me to share? Calling me to disclose to me the colour of my man’s underwear. You tell me like I don’t already know, hell, I bought them!!  Trying to tell me about how my man fucks, bitch, I taught him!
So why don’t you do me a favour, when he comes over tonight, and he’s Cumming and you Cumming and you both Cumming, at last just simply lean back his head and look him deep in his eyes and You’ll see me waving back at you. Ho!!

iam-not-just-a-bitch-i-am-the-original-bitch