The love I want

I attended a wedding last weekend and the two of them were so happy. The guy actually shed a tear as he said his vows and she tenderly wiped them with her fingers. That moment broke all our hearts and got me thinking, when I marry, I hope it will be the happiest day of his life. But what do I really want? Do I desire the glamour of the wedding or the everlasting bliss of marriage? I want a marriage but I don’t want a marriage as much as I want a relationship. I want a dirty, raw, unexplainably deep connection with a man who believes in the same things I do, a man who will be my best friend and my biggest cheer leader.  Ultimately, it’s not the wedding that matters, it’s the connection. It’s like a deep longing  that has been satisfied, like that itch that we are finally able to reach or the long novel that we finish then sit in silence pondering what we’d have done differently had the author thought to include us in the story. It’s like finding something you never knew you were looking for.

I want a love so severe that I will wonder how I ever lived without it. I want him to know me as intimately as he knows himself. I want to build a foundation on a relationship that is deep and that will endure all. That’s the love I want. The heavy kind. The kind that is strong enough to support me and crucial enough to make me want to die if it ever disappears.. See, I want a love that makes me wait until he falls asleep, and wonder if he’s dreaming about us being. I want to sit and honestly wonder who loves the other more. I want to slow dance in the middle of our house to the music of our hearts, closing my eyes and imagining how a love so good could hurt so much if he ever left.  I want to feel 16 again, to spend hours on the phone not saying shit. I want to get under the covers and smell him all over. I want to celebrate our 40th anniversary and watch our babies get babies. I want to talk to him until I lose my breathe. I want a love so strong that not even death would end it. I want a love so pure that if I ever wake up and he is not there with me, I could lose my memory to keep me from losing my damn mind. I want to meet up with him again in another life, and fall in love with him all over again – In a different language to see if it feels the same. It’s scary as hell, but I will not settle for anything less.

I want someone to come home to, to gossip with, to look at while we laze on the sofa and ask, ‘I m not crazy, am I?’  And no matter what they say, I will be content- blissfully content – with the answer because whether I am nuts or boring, he will be right there with me.

I want a love that frees me, I want an adventurous love. No strings, no traps, just him and I, confident that no matter where life takes us, we will end up in each other’s arms.Intimate.

Unexplainable. That’s the kind of love I want.


Love Stages

Relationships have the same brand pack.
Scary in the beginning, sad in the end. It’s the in-between that make them
special and worth it. I got thinking about the love process. How do you know if
it’s worth the in-betweens? When do you learn to trust your significant other
with not only your company but with your heart?
Do any of us ever really know our partners? Would you protect them with
your life? If you were ever at the perfect spot in your life, a place where all
your dreams come true and you wanted for nothing, is your partner the one
standing next to you?

Step 1; Presence

  • Acknowledging that this person
    exists and are in the market. You decide to be available and to toss yourself
    into the jungle.

Step 2; Relevance

  • Establish that you are both
    single and ready to mingle?  Are you in
    the same league? Just by looking at them, do they fit into what you would want?

Step 3; Performance

  • First date. Is there a
    connection. Is it effortless? Does it feel like home? Do you want to talk to
    this person forever? It has been urged that men know within the first hour of
    meeting a woman if they will marry her and women know within the first 15
    minutes of a date if they will sleep with a man.  This is the chemistry stage. You either have
    it or you don’t.

Stage 4; Advantage

  • Several dates, a kiss or two, a
    few months later. This is going well. You have found yourself a friend. This
    person makes your blues go away. You love the curve on his face when he laughs.
    You look forward to seeing her after a long day. You really like this person.

This is when the doubts and the games kick in. You need
to know if they are in it for you, if they would fight for you until they win. Time
to sift the wheat from the chaff.  Don’t
be scared to ring the alarm and put your person to the test. If they fail you,
thank God they did it when they did. If they pass, give them your heart.

Mother nature will lend a helping hand here. She will throw in
huddles and obstacles. She will bring in that woman who claims she is dating
your man, she will bring back that ex boyfriend that your girlfriend never got
over. Life will test you and if your relationship can survive this stage, then
solder on, you have met your match.

Stage 5; Bonding

  • After all has been said and
    done, you now know the love you love the most. The one person you want to be
    exclusive with. You trust this person with your life and you now know that
    given a choice, they would still choose you.  You see God and all the good things in this
    person. You know them by heart and you are proud to be a reflection of them

come in all forms. There are those that remain new and exotic, those that are
old, familiar and safe.  There are those
that answer all your questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected,
those that take you back to where you started, and those that renew your
senses. But the most exciting, challenging and significant of all is the one
you have with yourself. Find someone who loves the you you love, then sit back
and let life take you through the love stages till you meet your bonding

Just saying