The world is full of married men. And thus, the world is full of mistresses, Clandes, or whatever name women sleeping with married men go by. Think of Linda Muthama and Cecilia Mwangi. Whatever the arrangement, single women are involved with married men. Today, I play devil’s advocate. I say, if you decide to be bad, be damn sure to be very good at it. Let me start by saying, if a married man is involved with you, never forget that he loves and is committed to his wife. He doesn’t love you, if he did, he’d be creeping on you, not with you. You are just his play thing, his whore on the side. Do not make the mistake of equating sex with love. Don’t assume that if he is having sex with you, he loves you and doesn’t love her, when the complete is more often than not true. Men can love their wives and sleep with other women. Its fun for them, they get to have their cake and eat it too. OK, lets do this, lets set up a code of conduct.
Be very discreet. You don’t need to let your people know that you are someone else’s alternative and you don’t need his people knowing about you. Do all you can to make sure that his wife never even suspects because, babe, when he is forced to choose between his wife and kids and you, you will lose. ‘Aint no ones bidness but mine and my baby’
Be prepared to work harder than his wife to hold on to him. You are very easy to dispose, she is not. This means that you can’t voice your opinions too loudly or get upset with him too often. You should be hotter and more interesting than his other options, and you should make him happy. Always. Whatever it takes to make him happy, you should be ready to do.
When he is with you, make that time memorable, make his toes curl. Give him something to smile about late at night when his boring wife is dead asleep from the fatigue of making him a home, make sure he misses you. Be his perfect little doll, really listen to him, laugh at his jokes, cook all his favorite meals and fuck him like a porn star. Love him like mad, earn his trust, and bend to his needs. Give him that unconditional love that he yearns for. Let him understand that there is nothing he can’t trust you with, that your world is centered around the life you have with him. Your life is here and now with him. Don’t fuss about the future, he needs you to live in the moment with him. Those are the things he needs from you. Be his fantasy girl. Don’t whine and pout. He has enough reality back at home. Be his perfect thrill.
This doesn’t by any means require you to be a doormat. Remember that this relationship must be build on trust, intimacy and respect, just as any other relationship. Usually long-term affairs are affairs of the intellect as well as affairs of the heart and body. So be sharp, challenge his head, and share ideas. Let him know that you are more than just easy, cheap pussy. Your head functions just fine.
It helps to be a very independent woman who thrives on challenges and enjoys being alone. Everything you tell him should be an ego-booster. Do not criticize him. Look at what you have as more of an arrangement than a relationship. You cannot ask a married man to be your boyfriend, because he is just not available to fulfill that role. You have to accept that you are sharing him with his wife and more often than you care to accept, a host of other women.
Keep some personal space and time. Don’t be available to him whenever it’s convenient to him (and his wife). Make sure he understands and respects that you have a life outside of him, and you actually have fun with your other friends. You are not his servant; you are his respected whore on the side. Don’t play games with him. You are a grown woman and no one forced you to enter into the arrangement, so when things dont go as you had planned, don’t threaten the man. Manipulating, threatening to disclose the affair and childish games and antics only make you look immature and threatened, and certainly unattractive. The games will only serve to make him question why he’s hooked up with such a nut case.
I understand that you will most probably be insanely jealous of his wife, resist the urge to demean her in front of him. You shouldn’t even know his wife. Pretend she doesn’t exist. Don’t bother finding out where she works, what she drives, how they relate. She is none of your business. The relationship is about the two of you. Plus there is no need being catty about her, he chooses to stay with her, you are the one trying to take something that isn’t yours, so you’re in no position to judge her. Keep her out of it …you home wrecker.
Having an affair with a married man is not a game. Being a mistress isn’t glamorous; it’s nothing to be proud about. The likelihood of getting hurt is very high. He will never leave his wife even when he gets caught. Even then, he will do all that is humanly possible to make things right with his wife, first on that list will be breaking up with that home wrecking whore. You will get hurt, keep that in mind and question your motives very carefully. If you find a mutual attraction with a married man ask yourself if you really want to pursue this relationship knowing that you will spend holidays alone and that you will always take a back seat to his family. You will never be free to introduce him to your friends and family, you will never wake up in his arms or spend lazy Sunday afternoon’s watching reruns. By dating a married man, you waste your time and your youth because he aint never going to leave his wife.
But I am sure you have plenty of years to waste now, don’t you?
Whatever rocks your boat hun’.
Relationships that start off in deception usually end in deception