This I Pray

Posted: October 10, 2012 in Uncategorized

Dear God,

My holy father, I have played with the wrong one for way too long now, telling my self that I could change him, or change myself. He was close to what I wanted but wasnt exactly it. Sad thing is that I have always known he wasnt the one. Because in the bible you told me that in the beginning was the Word, and he didn’t even sound or shine like your Son.   But I know that you have a man set aside just for me. You needed to prepare me for him and dear father, I believe that I am now ready. I will no longer date, mingle with or communicate with carbon copies of  the man you have set aside for me.  I won’t settle for false companionship. I won’t lay in the embrace of his arms, attempting to find some closeness I’ll stay in my bed alone, and write about how much I will love this man.  I will sit in my office and earn us a future. I will trust and wait for you to bring him to me.

Dear father, I  don’t need a man to make me feel like a woman, rather, I want one by my side during those heavy moments when I am feeling weak, tired and lonely. One who will know me, want me and  show me that he respects what I bring to the table. One who is able to accept my strength and my confidence without thinking that makes him weak. I don’t need a man with a lot of money, But I do want one who is clever, hard-working and ambitious. One who pays his own bills and provides for his family. A man with goals and dreams.  One who holds womanhood in high esteem, starting with his mother.  A brother who openly loves you more than he could ever love me. Who will go to church with me. who will go down on his knees and pray with me. Who will hurt with me,  search with me when I am trying to find answers to my lost dreams. Who will be my blessing. I don’t need a man with a lot of religion, but I do want one who believes in you and as such he is in touch with the truth, who will not habitually lie nor deliberately make me cry. But he will tell me, firmly, not maliciously when I am wrong.

When the world is chasing, I will find refuge in his arms. He will protect me from harm and disease. He will respect our marital bed because he will be grown and therefore sees beyond the physical beauty that the world shows him. He will choose to stay with me and he will take my hand as we walk into the world of the unknown. And when we start out on our journey, my Father, he will create and sell into a home of absolute love and harmony, blissfully with me and our little family. He will be Isaac and I will be Rebecca. Bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh, made of his rib.

If I were to explain what he will look like, he would have to look like a star, a son of the almighty. I would gain energy simply from the light on me. And I will know him when I meet him… because when he speaks I will be reminded of Solomon’s wisdom. His  ability to lead will remind me of Moses,  his faith will remind me of Abraham, his confidence in your Word will remind me of Daniel. His inspiration will remind me of Paul, his heart for you will remind me of David. His attention to detail will remind me of Noah. His integrity will remind me of Joseph. But his ability to love selflessly & unconditionally will remind me of you;  my lord, my Kind.

And he will know me when he finds me. I will be that woman in whom Esther’s boldness meets the warm closeness of Ruth. Where Lydia’s hospitality will be aligned to Mary’s submission, which will be engulfed in the tears of a praying Hanna. I will be the one, drenched in Proverbs 31… waiting for him.

And God, I will love this man . I will love him so fiercely it will scare the world. I will love this man until the lemons becomes sweet. Until land is under water, until every non believer goes down on their knees and  confesses your name. I will love this man until religious fanatics and scientists reach a common ground. I am will love him until all the crime is wiped out of the world.  I will love him until all pain goes away. I will love him till the end of life and I am re-united with you my King.

Sweet lord, who knew me even before I was born. Only if you should see fit. I desire your will above mine. So even if you call me to a life of singleness, my heart will forever be content. You are the greatest love story ever told. You are forever my judge and I am forever your witness.

Whatever my lot, thou has taught me to say, it is well, it is well with my soul.

Amen.

Comments
  1. Sarah Kaheeru says:

    Dear Gathoni i just stumbled on this blog,u really encompass alot . Thank u dear thank u!

  2. maureen ngotho says:

    from janette ikz -i will wait for you

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