Miss Independent

I was having a drink with a couple of guys the other day and the conversation got me a little concerned. Got me thinking that maybe I was hanging out with the wrong crowd. Or maybe I had my head in the clouds and needed to come back to earth. Be the judge

One guy started off by telling us about this really nice girl he met, she was nice, kind, smelled great and said all the right things.  She was 26 years old, lived in the leafy suburbs, had a good job, didn’t have kids and he liked her a lot. Problem was she was driving a VW Touareg and was paying mortgage for a 3 bedroom apartment in Westlands.  He said that she  must have been a kept woman. No 26 year could keep up that lifestyle unless she comes from old money.  He said that she was the kind of woman who didn’t need a man. She would never respect her man and would expect to wear the pants in the home.  She had everything she needed and a man was just one more possession.

Is it a myth to assume that a PhD, fat bank account and a great career makes a woman a contender for the cream of the crop bachelors; Men who are hot, tall, educated and rich? Why strong independent women are constantly passed up for foolish blondes who can barely build a sentence in English? Men it seems aren’t looking for their educational or economic twin. They simply want a woman who is good-looking, noncompetition, nurturing, kind, smart, stable, cheerful and fun to be around. They want a woman who not only wants them, but needs them. A woman they can order around.

This is what I think; a man who is intimidated by a successful woman is a weak man. The intimidated male might not be intimidated by the woman, but by the power, ambition and aggressiveness.  Strong, aggressive, ambitious people intimidate weak, passive, lazy people regardless of their gender.   They remind these people of the existential crisis that has caused their current state of being.  That man would be intimidated by anyone who is better than him in stature. He will always feel inferior and the worse thing about said man; when he encounters someone who is doing more than him; he hides in a corner and starts talking shit, instead of getting up and doing something about it. This, friends, is not a man, he is a woose. He will never be the leading man, that attitude will make him a looser forever.

I think as society grows and changes the issue of how men and women interact will always be a touchy and complicated matter.  Women are leading richer lives and settle down for love and companionship, rather than out of social pressure or economic necessity. My advice is this, life your life to your full potential. Strive to achieve more than you ever thought possible, make your money, life well, drive well, dress well and drink well.  Wear your high heels and stop worrying about being taller than most of the men you meet. Don’t lower your standards to attract a man who is not only insecure with himself but with everything around him.  If he finds you too much a woman for his comfort, let him grow a pair or let him go spend time with a cardboard blonde who accepts mediocre. Don’t be afraid to make a stand, build your life and live for you.  When the right man comes into the picture, he will fit into your life. I promise you.


2 thoughts on “Miss Independent”

  1. Thank you for this. We need to hear this from more men, but then again, there are plenty of weak men out there so….

  2. thank you, u have no idea how hard it is to hear “no man is going to marry you with that PhD if u decide to pursue it” and yet u still feel strongly about it, and all the people around you keep telling u that.

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