I am Powerful

Ladies, just because a man sleeps with you doesn’t mean that he loves you. It doesn’t mean that he sees you in his future or that he would give up something to make you happy. What happened to our pride? What happened to letting the man work for our affection, to letting him do the calling, the chasing and pay for the dates? I am sick and tired of watching girls throw themselves at men who will never give a shit about them. Ladies, if you ever feel the need to ask yourself if he wants you or not, he doesn’t. When a man wants a woman, he doesn’t leave her guessing. He calls and texts all the time, he remembers everything she tells him, he is all up in your business. He is never too busy to call or return calls. When he wants you and trust me on this, you will know it, beyond a doubt. Nothing is as unattractive as a woman chasing a man.

Men are attracted to the woman who doesn’t try too hard to catch their attention. When you post a picture of yourself in a trashy bikini trying to get his attention, he doesn’t look at it and think of wifing you. He thinks to fuck you. Fuck you fast and let his friends have a go at you after he is done. There are two types of sexy; the woman who is obviously trying to be sexy and the woman who isn’t trying to be sexy – she just is. Most guys find the second one to be much sexier. And don’t be fooled, he knows the difference. The best sexy is underrated; stop shouting about how sexy you are, if you were, you wouldn’t need to tell anyone that you are. Stop with the weaves, cheap makeup and skirts so short that nothing is left for the imagination. The less you try to sell yourself, the more self assured you seem. Taste is subjective. One man’s “ugly” is another man’s “beautiful”. When the relationship is starting out, it’s all about looks. But when he falls in love, as you expect him to, it becomes all about your attitude. It’s about whether you can hold your own.

A lady I recently encountered was boasting of how she met this guy who calmly gave her his number and asked her to call him the next day. She called him and slept with him the very same day. Really woman? You called him and slept with him too? And you can dare tell people that you did? What happened to letting the man chase you? If you let him know from the first day that you are willing to bend over backwards, he figures you out. A man can smell desperation and he’d want to see just how far you’d be willing to bend. It’s human nature. Overcompensating or being too eager to please will lessen a man’s respect. Ask any guy about his first car and you notice how passionately he speaks of that old Toyota that he saved up for. He went without to afford that car. He worked hard to get it and he will never forget it. Same rule applies. He wants to chase you and break a sweat. Let him try to catch up with you.

When Carolyne met Victor, she made him wait for months before he could gerrit. She made it clear that she was attracted to him, she wasn’t mean or bitchy but she wasn’t ready to jump into bed or start a relationship with him. She wanted to get to know him and this was a first for him. He was used to getting what he wanted when he wanted and she caught him of guard. Giving a man too much attention too soon is like watering a plant before it germinates, its kills it. A man is a competitive creature. He likes racing cars and competitive sport. He likes to pursue, something he’ll go after and going after it makes him want it even more. If he doesn’t succeed right away, he starts to crave it. It captures his interest and excites his imagination. It’s been six and a half years since Victor met Carolyne and he still believes that he convinced her to date him.

As a woman, we have been taught to be nurturing. To cook for, clean for and mother the people we love. We are trained to date for not more than 2 years and if he hasn’t proposed, get pregnant and hurry up the process. Ladies, fucking him or popping his seeds will not make him love you. Few things are better than having a man who is with you because he wants to, not because he has to. Don’t try to trap him, don’t force anything. If it’s meant to be it will be. Relax. Whenever you make him feel as though he has to see you, it will feel like work. When it’s not an obligation to see you, the very same thing will feel like pleasure.

I know women who dump their friends when they start dating. They build their lives around the man they love. They tweet about him all day and cannot go for a day without talking about the man. Girl, get a freaking life. Live a little. Nothing is as unattractive as a clingy woman. Don’t let him define you. You were before him and you should be after him. Let him try to catch up with you. When he has to go out of his way to get your attention, he wants you even more. You excite his imagination. Men like things that are difficult; I can never stress that enough. Have your own friends and your life away from him; don’t rely on him too much. You become a burden if you lean on him too much. He is only human, and he has his own problems. Show him that you’ll be an equal partner, which means that you also have something to contribute. He must feel that you choose to be with him, not that you need to be with him. Only then will he perceive you as his equal.

Someone once told me that when love is done right, it hurts; it hurts like a mother fucker sometimes. Only the people you love have the power to hurt you and my doll, he will hurt you. How you react when it hurts defines how he categorises you. Don’t make emotional decisions. Take some time to gather your thoughts and be slow to anger. When you react emotionally, it gives him a feeling of control. When you react, he knows you care and he is in control. He can figure you out and he will wrap you around his little finger. A man is trained on how to manage a woman’s emotions; what to do when you shout and cry. If you react emotionally frequently, over time he will come to see you as less of a mental challenge. If he can’t predict how you’ll always react, you remain a challenge. Be unpredictable. Cool your jets

I am not asking you to be a doormat. Men respect standards and they will follow rules. Let him know the dos and don’ts in your relationship and let him know what you will not accept. Choose your battles and don’t fight about every little thing. The first thing a true fighter learns is that one must pick one’s battles wisely. A good fighter knows that if he fights every battle, even if they are strong ones, he’ll start losing because of battle fatigue. Stay calm and don’t stomach bullshit. Love and respect walk hand in hand. If he doesn’t respect you, walk away and find a man who will. Be a good woman who is deserving of a man’s love and respect then relax and let God.

There are two types of women: those who want power in the world, and those who want power in bed. And there’s a third type: the bitch. She gets both – Jacque Kennedy


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