Good boys aint no Fun

Posted: October 10, 2012 in Growth, Uncategorized

Good boys are not so hard to find. We’ve all dated them. They call when they say they’re going to call, they take us out on real dates, they tell their friends and even their parents about us, they like their parents, they pick calls in front of us, they don’t drink too much or use illegal drugs, they have 9-5 jobs, they have female friends they haven’t slept with… yeah, yeah, whatever. The point is, they’re not hard to find. Bad boys are hard to find, because they’re never where they’re supposed to be. In fact, they’re not supposed to be anywhere. They do as they please. They go where the wind takes them. If you’re lucky, a bad boy might pick up your calls, but you never know exactly what (or who) a bad boy is doing. It’s upsetting and insensitive and intriguing and insane and so freaking hot!!!

You know you’re dating a bad boy when you’re not sure you’re actually dating. Bad boys are usually one of two things: unavailable or undressed. This leaves you unable to think of anything but where the hell is he and when will he do that to me again? Bad boys are rule breakers and heart-breakers and bed shakers and oh, how I love bad boys.

A bad boy will call you “babe,” probably because he forgot your name, but still, there’s nothing sexier than a bad boy who’s dying to see you. It doesn’t matter if anything he says is true. It sounds good, and it feels good, because baby, bad boys have mad game.  Bad boys are not timid about kissing. They are not timid about anything. They know what they want, and they go for it, which is thrilling when it’s you, and not so thrilling when it’s suddenly the other girl you both met in the bar yesterday.  Of course, that rarely happens, because bad boys rarely take you out. They don’t have to. The bar is low for bad boys. They don’t have to surprise you with flowers and candy, it’s a surprise they show up at all. In fact, a bad boy is happy to let a good guy take you to dinner, ask you about you, kiss you goodnight at the door…a bad boy knows he can call at midnight and still get invited over for dessert.

Bad boys are dessert. They’re like hot fudge sundaes. You know they’re not good for you. You know that as a woman, at a certain age, you’re not supposed to indulge anymore, but that doesn’t mean you won’t fantasize about it while you’re eating your mixed berries. The other fantasy, of course, is that you will somehow reform a bad boy. That you will meet one with a motorcycle and tattoos, and he’ll tell you he’s trouble, but clearly that’s all a front. In truth, he’s just wounded, as we all are, and eventually he’ll fall madly in love with you because you are what’s missing in his life.

I know I am not alone in this, so ladies, what is it about liars, cheaters and egomaniacs that we can’t resist? What makes a bad boy so yum? Dopamine, the pleasure chemical. It literally makes us high, in much the same way that cocaine does. We get a rush from it, and once we feel that, we want more. We keep doing the same things again and again, and we get addicted. It’s true for drugs, and it’s true for men too. What triggers dopamine? Risk. One researcher said that women can’t help but crave “an erotic edge of danger,” and it’s the word dangerthat holds the key to understanding sexual attraction. When women take risks, they feel a rush of adrenaline, which produces lust, and a rush of dopamine, which produces attraction. This would explain why even imprisoned convicts have women writing to them, and why most girls can’t resist a guy in a motorcycle. Even a difficult and brooding personality implies that a guy is headed for trouble, and this produces the rush that gets translated directly as a tingle to the vagina.

Okay, I admit it. I recently got me a classic bad boy.  I know he will break my heart. I know his type. This is the typa boy who my friends warned me about. My aunties would flip if they knew I was going out with this boy. Even my ex would be sad for me. I know I shouldn’t be with him, but he is just so sexy and so exciting. He is so delicious, so forbidden. This boy is extremely handsome, freakishly tall, way too charming and rich. He makes me feel sexy and wanted. I feel like Delilah when I am with him. He exudes confidence, plays by his own rules, he keeps me guessing. He has an element of mystery about him and an air of the forbidden. He is unpredictable, elusive, so aware of his other options, so impossible to pin down. I want this boy so badly it hurts. I want to really have him. To be the love that changes him. I want him to want to give me his name. I want to mean everything to him. I want to hire a very old ugly nanny to take care of our sons. Oh, I love bad boys.

 

Good boys aint no fun

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